


Broken

by anlomijo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (That's an understatment), Dead Sam Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Not Beta Read, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anlomijo/pseuds/anlomijo
Summary: Sam is dead. Dean is broken.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Kudos: 13





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is just a short take on what might've happened after Sam died and before the last episode of season 2. Also, english is my second language so you'll have to excuse the inevitable misspellings. I hope you enjoy it!

Dean hugged Sam’s body close to his chest and buried his face in his brother’s neck. Tears streamed down his face and his body wracking with his sobbing. He had no idea how long he sat there rocking back and forth not daring to let go. It could have been hours, minutes. He didn’t let go until he heard steps coming closer and stopping just a few feet away. He didn't look up. Didn’t need to. Didn’t want to. It was quiet again for a few moments. 

”Dean?” he heard Bobby say very carefully. Like he didn’t know how to say it. If he was even allowed. Dean slowly looked up over Sam’s shoulder and saw the old man standing there. It was dark but he could clearly see the grief on his face. Tears were still streaming down Dean’s face but the sobbing had stopped. It felt like his tears would never stop. 

”We need to go. We can’t stay outside”, Bobby said, looking uncertain. Dean nodded carefully. He didn't want to disturb Sam. He adjusted Sam’s body in his arms and rose so that he was carrying Sam bridalstyle. Dean didn’t look at Sam’s face. Didn’t dare to. He knew he would lose it again if he did. He tried not to think about Sam’s still form. About Sam not breathing. He positioned Sam’s head against his shoulder and started walking. Bobby right behind him. 

Dean walked up to one of the houses around them and through the door. He saw a bed in the middle of a room by his right. Walked into the room and finally put down Sam on the bed. His hand still held onto Sam’s shirt. He didn’t want to let go. Couldn’t let go. He looked at Sam’s face for the first time since…. He couldn’t say it. It would make it real and he couldn’t. 

Sometime during the walk the tears had stopped but he could feel his eyes burning again. 

Sam looked peaceful. It looked like he was sleeping but Dean knew that would change in a few hours. 

”Dean?” he heard Bobby say again. Dean closed his eyes, took a deep breath and turned his head. He opened his eyes and looked at Bobby. 

”What do you want to do?”

Dean took a shaky breath and opened his mouth but no words came out. He shook his head instead. Praying for Bobby to understand. 

”I’ll leave you alone then”, Bobby said, took one look at Sam and left. 

Dean looked down on Sam again. It wasn’t actually Sam, it was just his body. His soul, everything that made him _ Sam _ was gone. Dean tightened his hand around Sam’s shirt and closed his eyes when he felt tears on his cheeks again. 

He couldn’t  _ do this _ . It felt like his heart had been torn in two. Like it would never heal. Not completely. 

He laid down next Sam on the bed. Hugging Sam’s body close to him once again. Trying to make him start breathing again with just his willpower. He was still warm. 

”Sam… Sammy…  _ please _ ”, Dean sobbed brokenly into Sam’s shoulder. ”Sammy, come back to me” 

Dean lay beside Sam until he didn’t have any more tears to spill. Until he was so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open. He fell asleep. 

He woke up again. Still lying beside Sam’s still body. It must have been a few hours because Sam’s body was cold. Dean looked up at Sam’s face and it felt like someone punched him in the gut. Sam looked dead. It didn’t look like he was just sleeping anymore. He was pale. Like there was no color left. Dean knew rationally that it was because of the lack of new blood pumping through his veins. But it still made it real in a way it hadn’t been before. 

Dean rose from the bed. He felt sick. He wanted to puke. He had to look away from Sam’s body. He saw Bobby looking at him, tears clearly visible in his eyes. 

”I’m gonna go get some food”, Bobby said. He walked away before Dean could get the chance to answer him. Not that he would’ve either way. 

Dean stood frozen to the floor, looking at the place where Bobby had just stood. He felt lost. Like he was just drifting through the universe, not having anything to anchor him to reality. Like he had no purpose anymore. Like nothing mattered. 

He took a step forward towards the door frame that separated the room Sammy was in with a room with juat a table. He turned around so that he was facing Sam and leaned on the frame, his arms crossed and a blank face. 

He would fix this. He  _ had  _ to fix this. A life without Sammy was unthinkable. Especially now when he had gotten a glimpse of how it was actually like.  _ I’m gonna fix this,  _ Dean thought, furrowing his eyebrows determently.  _ I’m gonna bring him back.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!  
> You can also always find me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/anlomijo


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